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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27912061">Us Against the World</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepsifork/pseuds/pepsifork'>pepsifork</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DreamSMP, TubboLive - Fandom, mcyt, tommyinnit - Fandom, tubbo - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Death, DreamSMP - Freeform, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Tommy - Freeform, TommyInnit - Freeform, Traitor, Tubbo - Freeform, platonic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:02:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,938</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27912061</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepsifork/pseuds/pepsifork</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>[on hiatus]<br/>It's just Toby and Tommy against the world, right?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; TommyInnit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Enemy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>[DISCLAIMER: This fic contains nothing more than a platonic relationship. If either Tommy or Tubbo wants this taken down, I will do so. Respect their boundaries and don't ship them. Also please do not repost my story. Hope you enjoy!]</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sky cracks and rumbles as it announces a storm coming. Tommy looks overhead and watches the dark clouds toss and roll, imagining it being him in a week's time. He and his friends had just waged war against one of the most powerful men, and the most hated man in their land. He kicked a rock as he walked to be underneath an oak tree, waiting for his friend to join him.</p>
<p>Leaning against the oak, he hears footsteps running towards him and he slightly jumps looking up at the noise. He heaves a sigh of relief as it's just Toby, the friend he'd been waiting for. Toby confirms that he's ready to go and they set on their way down the long winding path to Tommy's home. As they walked, neither knew what to say. The day had been so tiring, so frustrating and the claim of their enemy didn't help much either.</p>
<p><em>"There is a traitor among you."</em> Dream's words echo in every inch of their minds, none knowing who to entirely trust. Tommy glances down to his side at Toby as they walk. His hair moving back in the breeze of the approaching storm. Tommy opens his mouth to speak, being cut off by the other taking the opportunity. </p>
<p>"Tommy, are you the traitor?" He looks up at Tommy, eyes showing emotion that Tommy can't read. "I- wh- Huh?" Tommy sputters, taken aback by the sudden accusatory question.</p>
<p>"I just- I want to make sure I don't become the fool. By trusting you, that is," Toby replies quietly. Tommy looks at his feet as they keep their pace, neither faulting even through such a strange atmosphere they'd created.</p>
<p>"If I were- if I were the traitor, would you still be my friend, Toby?" Tommy inquires quietly, knowing it sounded suspicious on his end. To be fair, he was genuinely curious having been such good friends with Toby. He wanted to know what the lengths were for their friendship.</p>
<p>"I'm not sure," Toby replies bluntly. "I'm not sure if I'd see you as an enemy, though," he continues slowly, "Then again, if you hurt people I cared about I might be forced to."</p>
<p>Tommy walks beside him in silence for a few moments before quietly responding with a simple "Fair enough." Toby returns the question, and Tommy stays silent for a little while, feeling Toby's eyes drift away from him.</p>
<p>"I don't know, Toby. I don't know what to think about a lot of things currently," he leans on his words as he thinks up his next, "Honestly, if you were I don't know what I'd do." Toby hums in response still focusing on the path in front, examining the house they were approaching.</p>
<p>"It's just us against the world," Toby suddenly states. Tommy looks down at him for a moment and nods. </p>
<p>"Us against the world."</p>
<p>They walk the rest of the way in silence not wanting to carry an uncomfortable conversation. Both acknowledge the slight tension but choose to ignore it, hoping it'll lift once they reach the house. </p>
<p>The front door is about twenty feet ahead and it opens to reveal a disheveled looking Phil. His hair is a mess, showing it had been messed with and tugged on. Looking at the young men approaching him, he smiles and waves as they respond. Tommy walks up first to hug his dad and Toby follows, greeting Phil politely. As Phil closes the door behind the three, Toby looks around in wonder, admiring their living room. It's decorated with mounts holding animal heads that he assumed one of the home-dwellers had hunted. A burgundy carpet lays in front of a black leather couch, holding a sleeping person across itself. A glass case holds an assortment of weapons- antique looking, with obvious repairs made to them to extend their usage period.</p>
<p>Tommy notices Toby eyeing the mantels and whispers to him that his brother had hunted them all.</p>
<p>"All of them?" Toby relays in disbelief. There were so many different animals, some looking more roughed than others. He turns to Tommy who nods his head in confirmation. Then looking back to the couch, he examines the person laid upon it. <em>Ah, it's Technoblade, of course.</em> He thinks to himself. His pink hair is out of it's usual braid and his mask is dropped to the floor beside the couch. Toby had never seen Techno's actual face, given his mask being on all the time, so it was odd seeing it now.</p>
<p>Turning slightly, he's met with the sight of the kitchen where Wilbur is, making himself some hot pockets. He lifts his attention from his plate to look at Toby and smiles. Toby waves and smiles back. He turns to notice Tommy walking towards a hallway and entering the first door. Quietly following, he drops his things next to the door looking around.</p>
<p>"Pretty boring room, Tommy," he laughed.</p>
<p>"Oh shut up I'm barely in here it doesn't matter." Tommy turns to his friend showing him where to store his things.  </p>
<p>The two exchange conversation, completely ignoring the fact they have one week to prepare for the largest battle of their lives so far. Through their conversation, Toby looks around the room making notes of the spacing so he could still navigate in the dark if he woke. As the day ends, the two get ready for bed and Toby falls asleep on the spare bed in Tommy's room. It had been Wilbur's but he took Technoblade's room when he half-moved out. In Phil's words, he was always welcome to still stay with them given that they're family, and so he sleeps on the couch occasionally. Toby found it to be comfortable, but maybe it was because he was able to have someone near him. </p>
<p>
  <em>It's just us against the world.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Arrow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy wakes to noises being made in the main room of the shared house. He rubs the sleep from his eyes and slinks out of bed laying on the cold floor to wake himself. Steps approach and a foot lands on his upper back shaking him.</p><p>"Wake up Tommy, Techno's cooking some food for us all."</p><p>Tommy groans and stands to meet Toby's eyes before squinting and saying, "If you ever put your foot on me again I will literally bite your-" He stops and sighs before walking away.</p><p>Toby follows Tommy into the living room as the smell of cooked food wafts through the air. He stands a couple feet to the side of Techno, watching as he moves the food he's cooking. Two more join the three in the area and mutter good mornings to each other, Phil hugging Toby. As each grabs enough food to fill them, Phil finishes a portion of his and speaks up.</p><p>"Boys," he starts, "I heard from some other people on our side that Dream... He said something to you lot while I wasn't there. Regarding that, do any of you know who it may be?"</p><p>Tension settles like a blanket the gods suddenly dropped upon them. Phil feels the four tense up at the question and decides to not press further, yet one responds.</p><p>"I thought it might be Zak or Darryl*. Maybe even both- Dream could've misspoke and meant it was the both of them," Technoblade mutters, loud enough so that the rest hear. Wilbur nods his head and leans his back against a wall he stood at, mouth still filled with food. The five carried on eating and brought separate conversations amongst themselves, Techno leaving the house without a word as he normally did. While Toby watches Techno disappear down the long path, he feels Tommy's eyes on him. His attention shifts to Tommy and he tilts his head waiting for him to speak. </p><p>"Do you want to do something today?"</p><p>"Well, I was actually already planning on doing something alone today if you don't mind."</p><p>"Ah alright. In that case I'll be here if needed," Tommy responds. He was slightly bothered at Toby not wanting to spend time with him, but he said nothing as he wouldn't force him to keep him company. Toby rose from his seat on a stool beside the counter to place his dishes in the sink and wash them, seeing the others leave the area in his peripheral vision. He waited a little while before returning to the shared bedroom, anticipation growing in his chest. He quietly opened the door and shuffled past Tommy's bed, seeing him asleep. <em>Where is it. Where the hell is it.</em> Toby quietly sticks his hand around in his belongings looking for what he needs. His hand slides against something sharp and he quietly gasps, wincing at the sudden pain. </p><p>Tommy slightly shifted in bed, being uncomfortable in his original position. Toby freezes for a second, keeping his hand on the object in the bag as he turns to see Tommy still sleeping. He turns back around and Tommy opens his eyes just enough to see enough as Toby pulls out the object, as well as a letter then turning to the door. He struggles not to move too much and alarm Toby when he sees an arrow held in his left hand.</p><p><em>Shit, what is he doing?  </em>He lays still, waiting in the silence of the room until he hears the front door open and shut quietly. He gets up from the bed and lightly steps to his room door before crouching and looking underneath the crack between the hardwood floor and the door. He looks for a sign of Toby still indoors and sees none, so he lifts himself to his feet and gathers a few things before setting off after Toby.</p><p>He finds himself thinking the worst as he trails Toby far enough not to be noticed, and makes sure not to lose sight of him. He follows Toby off the long path and into the forest to the right of the house, confused but still wary. The ground is slightly damp from last night's downpour and helps to mask Tommy's steps, but he removes his shoes for extra measure. He clenches his teeth as the cold pokes at his bare feet. </p><p>Toby comes upon a small clearing with a fallen log to his left side. He stands atop the log, pulling up a bow and arrow aiming it at a tree. Tommy holds his breath, the string is released and the arrow pierces into the moss-covered bark of the tree. He looks at the bow in his hand for a moment, and proceeds to toss it upwards to hang in the tree he just shot. Tommy lets out a soft sigh loosening his grip on a knife he's brought along in case. He notices the letter still in the other's hand and decides to leave him to his business as it seemed harmless. Tommy backs away with his eyes still baring into Toby's back. The boy disappears from his view and so he turns and hastily books it back towards his home. </p><p>Tommy makes it home without problem before Toby and keeps himself busy awaiting his best friend's arrival. The front door opens and Tommy quickly looks from his stance in the hallway to be disappointed by Technoblade's presence instead of Toby's.</p><p>"You don't have to make it known that I'm not wanted," Techno laughs. Tommy apologizes explaining his reaction and goes back to his business. He remembers a collection of disks in his locked chest and pulls one out to play it. As he sits next to the box listening, Toby enters from the outer room. </p><p>"I'm only going to be here for a little while, sorry Tommy we can do something later," he sheepishly chuckles hoping Tommy won't be too angry.</p><p>Tommy responds bitterly, "Oh no, it's <em>fine</em> Toby it's not like I want to spend time with you or anything." He gestures with his hands as he speaks and proceeds to ignore Toby apologizing once more. Curiosity had been spilling into Tommy's bones begining at the time he saw Toby leave the arrow and bow in the tree. He weighed possibilities in his head before deciding to visit the spot. </p><p>"I'm actually going out as well so I'll see you tonight once I'm back." </p><p>Toby nods in response and watches as Tommy gathers a few things before setting off towards his destination. Tommy quietly steps through the forest examining each tree he passes. He finds the one that has the arrow piercing its trunk high above the ground. Looking around in silence, he listens for any sign of company before setting off to look for a good viewing point. He removes his shoes to minimize noise and steps through wet leaves, cringing at the wetness upon his soles. He grows closer to a mountainside gazing up at its height. Tommy's ears sting as a breeze blows swiftly through the forest, and right through his t-shirt.</p><p>"Such a gloomy look in this place," he mutters, scanning the area he stands in. The grass is covered in leaves and the trees look half-dead. His gaze tracks the dark clouds gliding overhead.  His attention turns back towards the mountain- the side he's on looking like a cliff. His eyes trail downwards from the middle and notice some rocks out of place. He slowly approaches, noticing extra darkness lurking behind them. He shifts the rocks, making an opening large enough to allow his entrance, and crawls through. Tommy shuts his eyes to help adjust to the lack of light quicker, taking in the musty smell of the small cave.</p><p>His hand runs against the wall guiding him, and he finds a corner leading away from him so he moves forwards with his hands out in front of him. His steps barely echo around him, so he figures it's a small cave possibly with things inside. He rummages through his pocket to find something to source light, and finds a match. The match strikes and lights the cave to show crates and stacks upon stacks of dynamite.</p><p>Tommy's expression turns horrified as he stands perfectly still in the middle of the cave, blowing out the match.</p><p>"What the fuck is this?"  </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*[Zak is Skeppy and Darryl is BadBoyHalo- also I don't use Technoblade's real name because he's said he's uncomfortable with people using it.]</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Distress</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>While Tommy has a crisis in a secluded cave, Toby stands alone in the forest staring up at the arrow which had struck the tree. His mind swarms with thoughts, his hands clenched onto his shirt and breath held.<em> I don't want to breathe. Maybe if I hold it long enough this won't be real- I won't be here and I'll still be home.</em> His hands rise to his head, pressing against his temples to massage away the pain. It throbs in his skull, making him wince with every head-involved movement he makes.</p><p>He freezes as he hears rustling in the far left direction of him. Turning his head slowly to avoid pain, a tired Schlatt emerges from the trees. His eyes are cast downward and his hair blowing towards Toby in the wind. His glazed eyes lift to view Toby. The sight of him makes Schlatt grin. </p><p>"Hello, Toby," Schlatt begins. "So, have you come around?"</p><p>"I'm still not fully convinced I should trust you," Toby strains himself to sound as if he wouldn't shit himself any given second.</p><p>"Oh Toby, you shouldn't!" Schlatt exclaims laughing. He quiets down after a brief moment and continues. "You don't understand why I'm here for you, do you?"</p><p>Toby just stands in place waiting for Schlatt to continue. Seeing as Toby gives no answer, he goes on.</p><p>"I'm here because I see how they treat you, Toby. I see how they belittle and disrespect you. You're tired of it Toby! Oh so tired of it- isn't that right? And you want- you want to get back at them. You want them to see that you're strong." As Schlatt went on talking up Toby, he slowly moves towards the younger man making sure to keep his tone persuasive. He reads each bit of body language that shows from Toby and internally applauds as he sees him warming up to his idea.</p><p>"You seem to be enjoying the idea of revenge, Toby," Schlatt smiles slyly, watching as Toby snaps from his engulfment of the thoughts and stutters out a response.</p><p>"No, it's alright I understand, Toby. I know. It's only human to want revenge. It's human to betray. Plus think about it Toby- if you don't betray them first, you stand the risk of them betraying you. Tommy isn't a very trustworthy boy, is he Toby? He would hurt you in a heartbeat- he <em>does</em> hurt you. So, join me, Toby. Join me and show them you can be powerful. You can show them what it was like being seen as inferior. Pathetic and weak."</p><p>"Yeah... yeah," Toby exclaims, being pumped from Schlatt's own energy.</p><p>"That's it Toby! You want the power. You want to show them what it was like being ridiculed and hurt by them. You want them to feel it, don't you?"</p><p>"Yeah Schlatt, I think I do." Toby stands in silence with his thoughts for a moment. He looks up at Schlatt and asks,"What do I need to do?"</p><p>Schlatt guffaws with joy when he hears Toby say that sentence and explains his plans to the younger.</p><p>---</p><p>Tommy quietly steps in long strides along the dampened ground completely lost in thought. <em>What was all that? Whose is it? Is it Dream's or Schlatt's? What if-</em> His thoughts are cut off by the sound of a sharp and shaky exhale. His eyes widen as they lift to see Toby sat at the base of the stricken tree with his head in his hands. With the quiet atmosphere looming behind him, Tommy could almost perfectly hear Toby muttering words to himself. Alas, they're just quiet enough for him to not be able to distinguish what's being said.</p><p>Tommy weighs his options and decides to step closer to be within earshot of his best friend's self-directed words. As he creeps closer, he realizes Toby's repeating the same two words as if he's a broken record.</p><p>Then, just as Tommy begins to relax, he finally notices the tone of Toby's voice. It's laced with anguish and fear. His mind focuses in on the negativity he senses, almost afraid to know the cause of Toby's distress. Self hatred practically drips from each small gasp between words as well, causing Tommy to shiver. </p><p>"I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't..." Toby continues on and on as Tommy feels concern growing in himself. <em>Can't what?</em> He sits in his place not wanting to get closer and risk being noticed by Toby. He shudders as Toby doesn't stop, apparently doing his best to convince himself not to do whatever it was he was thinking to. Toby slowly quiets, his breaths becoming slower and sniffles being heard. Deeper concern settles onto Tommy's shoulders as he considers approaching Toby.</p><p>Suddenly, he simply goes quiet. No sniffling, no words, not even a slightly loud breath. Tommy squats beside a tree he'd been standing near and waits to see if any movement happens. A couple minutes pass by and Tommy cautiously walks to Toby's place on the ground.</p><p>"Toby?"</p><p>No response is heard as Tommy looks closer and sees his eyes closed.<em> What a moron</em>, Tommy thinks to himself. He places his hands on each side of Toby's head and lifts it attempting to wake him. Toby's eyes crack open looking at Tommy, and he slightly jumps at the sudden presence in front of him.</p><p>"Ah, sorry Toby," Tommy mutters. "Let's go home, yeah?"</p><p>Toby groans and rises, using the tree as leverage. Watching Toby, Tommy looks up at the arrow and grabs hold of it pulling it from the trunk. Toby watches as he carries it along, wondering his reason for doing so. A thought zips across his mind for only a moment: <em>Did he see?</em>  <em>Is he trying to make sure we don't meet again?</em>  Toby dismisses it as he sees Tommy half trip and the arrow slices into the side of his left arm.</p><p>"Aw fuck!" Tommy yells. Toby approaches, pulling out a small bandage from a pocket. "Do you just carry bandages around?"</p><p>"I get hurt a lot."</p><p>"Yeah, you would," Tommy responds blatantly and wraps his injury in the provided bandage.</p><p>The two slowly make their way back to Tommy's house, Tommy keeping his attention on Toby almost the entire time. The house is dark when they arrive, and they quietly enter. Techno emerges from the hallway in a wary manner, a small weapon in hand. Tommy announces his and Toby's presence and Technoblade retreats to his old room where Tommy assumed he was talking to their father as he heard voices.</p><p>"So, why were you sleeping in the forest?"</p><p>The both of them enter Tommy's room and the older boy settles into the spare bed sighing. He then answers with a yawn, "I was just making my way back and got really tired." Tommy holds back a disbelieving scoff and simply hums an acknowledgement. He lays into his own bed and allows sleep to pour over him. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Nightmares</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Toby wakes in a cold sweat, heart slamming against his ribcage. <em>It was a dream.. Only a foolish dream</em>. He glances to his left to see Tommy. He's laid quietly on his side, the moonlight illuminating his collarbones. Toby's head begins to spin- the voice of Schlatt bouncing, echoing into his nerves causing immense pain. <em>"He'll try to stop you Toby, and we both know that you'll listen."</em> He squeezes shut his eyes and clasps his hands against his head attempting to silence it.<em> I can't do that... I can't, I just can't.</em> He repeats the doubt in his mind, wanting to convince himself it's true. Would he really stop for Tommy?</p><p>He drops his hands to his lap and hears rustling to his side, slightly jumping at the sudden noise. A groggy voice breaks the abyss that had flooded Toby's head.</p><p>"Toby?"</p><p>"Y-yes?" He cautiously answers.</p><p>"What are you doing? Are you alright," Tommy questions, slightly sitting up in bed. He winces as his bandages lightly scuff against his new injury.</p><p>"Yes, I'm alright you should sleep," Toby responds sternly.</p><p>Tommy doesn't question him although he can hear an odd change in tone. After a few minutes of stiff silence, Toby hears deeper breaths coming from the other's bed. He takes it as a sign he's fallen back asleep and slowly rises from his place in bed. Walking softly across the hardwood to the door, he stops and looks back at Tommy who was now laid on his back. I could. I know I could. He turns and walks out the door closing it with a huff.</p><p>The living room wasn't any more comforting than the shared bedroom. There was a heavy silence highlighting the one sound of a ticking clock. Each step he made felt deeply unwanted by the atmosphere. Suddenly another noise joined the footsteps, startling Toby in his already shaken state. Another pair of steps emerged from the hallway as Toby stood in silence hoping not to be seen.</p><p>"Ah, you're awake too." Wilbur stepped quietly with ease as Toby let go of his held breath.</p><p>"Yeah I had a- erm... I was getting hot in the room." He quickly decides against making an opening for Wilbur to question him. The two quietly go about their own business- Toby sitting on the leather couch and Wilbur drinking water in the kitchen. Techno must've gone out seeing as he wasn't on the couch as usual.</p><p>Toby fidgets with his shirt whilst attempting to sort his thoughts. <em>I could if I wanted to. I know I could. So, why don't I?</em> He drifts through thoughts and possibilities clouded the most by one. <em>You care too much for him.</em> He cringes as he leans back against the cold leather slightly wincing at the sudden temperature change on his bare skin. He hears Wilbur shuffle back to his room and closes his eyes.</p><p>---</p><p>
  <b>-TW choking-</b>
</p><p>The guitar's strings vibrate with every strum and Toby hums along. Tommy sits on his bed tapping his foot to the tune Toby makes with Wilbur's guitar. The tune continues but Toby slowly grows to a pause and he looks up at Tommy. His eyes drift down to the younger's neck, examining it quietly.</p><p>"Do you know how long it takes for a human to die from suffocation?" Toby quietly asks, not expecting an answer.</p><p>"P-pardon," Tommy replies. He's taken aback by the sudden mood change and his heartbeat skips for a moment out of confusion or fear, he can't decide.</p><p>"It takes about two minutes," he continues, unfazed by the other's shaken response. He looks down at the guitar in his hand and pulls on one of the strings until it snaps out of its held place. Tommy watches as Toby removes the string from the guitar and stands, still not looking up from the string. Tommy's breath hitches as the smaller boy walks towards him, stopping directly in front of him and contemplating. In a swift movement, the chord is dropped to the floor and two hands are wrapped around Tommy's throat pushing him back onto the bed. </p><p>His hands grab at the wrists as he chokes for air and repeats pleads for Toby to stop.</p><p>"You always doubted me, Tommy. You've said I'm not strong enough, that I'm dumb and incompetent."</p><p>Tears brim on the bases of Toby's eyes as he applies more force onto Tommy's neck.</p><p>"Do I still seem weak to you, Tommy?" He laughs as hot tears spill down his cheeks showing an overflow of emotions. He repeats the words in a more aggressive tone and Tommy stops grabbing at his wrists to watch the tears pour. His hands slowly rise to meet Toby's face and brush away the drips. </p><p>His expression twists from one of anger to grief and he struggles to keep his grip.</p><p>Toby chokes out a sob and releases Tommy's throat before collapsing onto the taller boy's torso. Tommy chokes for air gasping as he holds Toby in his arms. His chest pumps with every cough and Toby feels his tears soaking it. Both their hearts ache, separate reasons yet still together. Tommy regains his steady breathing and looks down at the sobbing boy on top of him. </p><p>"Did you just-"</p><p>The sobs grow louder as Toby nods against his chest and Tommy sighs. <em>Why am I so calm about this? </em> He sits up forcing the other to get off him and waits for his crying to subside before asking simply, "Why?"</p><p>"I'm tired."</p><p>To put it simply, Toby sounded exhausted. Tommy couldn't help but feel pity for him as looked up at him with swollen eyes also slightly shaken up from his own actions. He understood he went a little too far with Toby sometimes, and felt guilty for the build-up inside Toby.</p><p>"I'm sorry," he sighs. "Are you alright?"</p><p>"Stop babying me, Tommy!" Toby snaps. "This is what I'm tired of! You should be angry with me, I just tried to kill you for Christ's sake! Why aren't you yelling like you normally do?! Telling me how bad I am at things. I couldn't- I couldn't... even with all this."</p><p>Tommy just continues to stay silent allowing Toby to continue. </p><p>"You treat me like I can't do anything for myself- like you have to always take care of me while also belittling me! It's so..." He sighs as words escape him. </p><p>"I told you I wouldn't know what to do if you were the traitor, didn't I?" Toby nods in response waiting for Tommy to go on, but he doesn't. He stands and Toby looks up at him to meet his eyes. They're swimming with muddled emotions and Tommy clearly can't decide which of the many he needs to focus on. He turns and walks out the door leaving Toby to his own accord. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Replacement</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The sun was barely visible on the horizon. Tommy squinted as he looked forward in the sun’s direction, hoping to get to town before nightfall. His head was pounding from the amount of stress he was feeling. He massaged his temples attempting to alleviate at least a bit of the pain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His arms lower to rest at his sides when he arrives at the edge of the forest. A voice makes him jump and he turns his head slightly to meet Dream’s eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Funny seeing you here,” Dream says plainly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Could say the same, I’m looking for Schlatt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream hums in response and gestures for Tommy to follow him. They end up at the White House, and through the large windows Tommy can see Schlatt sitting at a large desk with a book in one hand and a dumbbell in the other. <em>Of course</em>. The next few minutes are spent navigating through the building to Schlatt’s office in utter silence apart from the two pairs of steps. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream knocks at the doors to the office and enters at the permission of Schlatt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy! </span>
  <em>
    <span>Interesting</span>
  </em>
  <span> seeing you this evening,” Schlatt says through clenched teeth. “How’s Toby?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You bastard! What did you do to him?!” Tommy strides forward, anger sending sparks through every step that lands. Schlatt sits in place, showing that he was still processing the situation. Realization dawned, and he smiled with low eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So he tried then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, he tried to fucking kill me! Because of you Schlatt.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Schlatt simply stared at Tommy, his expression almost fully changing to pity as he waited for Tommy to say anything else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Leave him alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, no. He can’t back out now. Also if Toby runs, he’ll be hunted and we both know we have some good hunters I could </span>
  <em>
    <span>easily</span>
  </em>
  <span> hire,” Schlatt’s shit eating grin was as bright as ever as Tommy became engulfed with rage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy’s hands reached across the desk and gripped the tousled collar beneath Schlatt’s  neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are a fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>moron.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Do you know how much bullshit he’s already been through? And you have the </span>
  <em>
    <span>nerve</span>
  </em>
  <span> to use it to your advantage and th- and then kill him! Fucking kill him once you’re done with him?! You are a sick bastard who deserves to rot in the depths of hell,  Schlatt.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy spits the words with venom he’d never consumed before, his blood boiling over into his already hot temper. His eyes are crazed with hatred and Dream stands to the side watching, ready for if Tommy attempts anything too rash. Schlatt simply laughs at him and mocks him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aw, Tommy that stings,” Schlatt chuckles. “We all go to hell! So, I might as well enjoy my time before it, no? So what if he’s got trauma- </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> and his other “friends” caused it anyway!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy steps back, clearly offended by the last sentence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“HA! You don’t realise it do you, Thomas? That boy has been downcast and led along like a lamb by you for the entirety of his time here! Sure, you say you care and all and he acts as if it’s all fine, but is it really, Tommy?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Schlatt doesn’t wait for an invitation to continue, but he takes pleasure in seeing Tommy’s face turn from offense to realization and disbelief. His chest lights up and it only fuels him further. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re his problem, Tommy! Why do you think he didn’t have any problem with the idea? ‘If I kill Tommy, I won’t be weak anymore!’ It’s pathetic. Even more pathetic that you didn’t realize what you were doing to the poor boy!” Schlatt turns his tone to one of fake pity, “You made him try to kill you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me do it instead.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Schlatt’s taken aback by the sudden suggestion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me take his place. Kill me instead and let Toby live with my family or wherever he wants.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sits back in consideration for a good moment and promptly asks, “What’s in it for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Memories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Toby opens the door to the main open room and sees no signs of life around. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Did they all go out as well?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He turns his back to the door as he closes it and steps to Tommy’s personal closet. The light above is busted so he takes out a torch to shine light wherever he looks. A pile of untucked clothing is laying on a stack of boxes. One item catches his eye as it’s a black briefcase tucked between the box stack and the back wall of the closet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of his hands grips the handle of the case as the other steadies the stack and pulls the case from the crevice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The case drags from the gap and is lifted from the closet to Tommy’s bed. Toby’s fingers graze the clips as he debates whether or not he should open it. He decides against his moral compass and clicks the clips which hold it closed. The lid lifts and he’s shown a sight he hadn’t known to prepare for. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A stack of small to big paper, a green bandana, dried flowers, a L’manburg flag and another stack but of polaroids. Almost everything in the case was a gift from Toby to Tommy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toby’s fingertips graze each item stopping at the stack of papers he saw first. He picks up the stack and shuffles through. Each is a drawing, a note or a book page that holds a memory of a time from their friendship. He sets the stack down and picks up the polaroids, doing the same and stopping at one he hadn’t seen before. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Toby and Tommy- </span>
  </em>
  <span>It’s a picture taken from behind capturing him and Tommy sat side by side at their bench. The sun was setting and you could see the jukebox to the side of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toby’s heart hitches as he looks over the picture and proceeds to tuck it into a pocket. He closes the briefcase and replaces it in the closet before laying across Tommy’s bed awaiting his return. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The stone room echoes Tommy’s steps back to him as he navigates through the dark to the crates. He stands still in a corner as he waits for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. Feeling around, he makes out a stack of crates next to stray dynamite strewn about. Tommy’s teeth clench and he pulls his bag over his head then drops it to the floor beside the sticks. He scoops as many as he can up with both hands and carefully places them in the bag. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence settles over the cave aside from any subtle movements made by Tommy. He stands after weighing the bag with as much dynamite as it and he could carry. Closing his eyes, he finds his way back to the mouth of the mined out area and squints into the bright atmosphere. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A breeze drifts through the trees slightly tugging at Tommy’s hair. He sucks in a breath before heading in the direction the breeze is blowing for. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy switches the bag between shoulders as its weight gradually leaves soreness. Relief washes over as he finally reaches his desired location and drops the bag to the floor again. He’s stood in a quiet area next to a pond, the trees shorter than the ones in the rest of the forest. His grip refastens on the bag as he moves it to a hollowed tree. It’s fronted by a couple large boulders and rocks. They shield an opening into the trunk and Tommy slips the bag in through said gap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hours had passed since Toby last saw Tommy. Worry just barely bubbles in Toby’s body as he stays laid on Tommy’s bed. Worries cloud his thoughts and he tries to convince himself against the concern. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room door’s knob turns and shoos his thoughts as fast as they came. In walks Tommy and Toby sits up examining the younger boy. Tommy mutters a ‘hello’ and Toby quietly responds the same. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you feeling?” Toby cautiously asks, hoping Tommy won’t be angry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m doing fine, thanks. How’re you?” Tommy’s tone shows no venom, no sarcasm and no hesitation to calm. Toby is taken aback by his friend’s mood and response, but continues. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m… alr- are you sure? I mean I- erm. Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy slowly turns from his closet to face Toby. He looks over him with half-lidded eyes and blinks slowly a few times. He silently turns back to his closet and opens it, digging through. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toby’s voice is met with silence. He begins to grow annoyed, but reassures himself that Tommy has good reason to act such a way. He watches in subtle fear as Tommy pulls a familiar briefcase from the closet. Toby does his best to mask his concern as Tommy drops the case next to Toby and opens it, still silent. He walks to another side of his room and pulls an item from the drawer of his desk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toby’s eyes follow Tommy’s hands to watch as he places an arrow in the case then turning to Toby once more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said I’m fine, Toby. I still don’t know what I’ll do, but I’m still your best friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it still..?”</span>
</p><p><span>“Yeah- yeah it’s us against the world, Toby. </span>Also, did you open the case?"</p><p>Toby freezes at the question and sputters out a response.</p><p>"It's fine if you did," Tommy laughed. "It's just a bit embarrassing."</p><p>"I think it's cool," Toby responded without thought. </p><p>The two go back to talking as they had before... the <em>incident</em>... and it all seems perfect. However, 'seems' has almost too much emphasis on it. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Discovery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“You’re leaving me again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toby’s jaw clenches as he looks over Tommy sympathetically, quietly apologising with his expression. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sun peeks over the horizon, not yet tucking away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to get a package from L’m- Manburg.” His tone stays flat regardless of his guilt in leaving Tommy to be bored. “Besides, we’ve been together all day you can survive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No but Toby it’s so boring by myself. And- and the..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy’s pleas stay unheard as Toby reminds himself of his tasks. He looks out into the sunset and decides to hurry off, dismissing Tommy’s complaints. Toby makes his way to the spot he was told to be at, struggling his way through the dark forest even with a lantern. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Close, so close.</span>
  </em>
  <span> His steps stop as he’s met with a large clearing, a cliffside to the right of it. He walks slowly, checking his map and figuring he wasn’t far from his meetup place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The lantern’s tunnel of light turns with Toby’s arm and shines further past a few suspiciously placed boulders, piquing his interest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slips through a now obvious opening and stills as he registers the contents of the cave. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Holy shit.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He shakily exhales and retreats, rushing to his original destination, heartbeat screaming in his ears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toby’s shoulders tense when a normally taunting voice greets him calmly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello Dream.” He turns to the direction of the greeting still slightly shaken. “Why did you ask me to meet you? A- wh-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream interrupts, “I see you found the cave.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s yours then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, no. It belongs to a friend of mine, though. Maybe ask Tommy about it.” He slips the last sentence on with his still tone, smiling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toby stays quiet, leaving Dream to go on knowing his question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy practically </span>
  <em>
    <span>begged</span>
  </em>
  <span> Schlatt to let him take your place. He thinks… Mm, he thinks you’re too- what word did he use? Ah, </span>
  <em>
    <span>incompetent</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Dream adds almost an elegance to the word as he says it, eyes narrowing with his wide smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, did he.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! I can’t believe he would say that about you, being your best friend and all.” He looks over Toby’s grave expression and continues, “I think if anything, he just uses you to feel good about himself. Like he’s… insecure, or something.” He pauses. “I don’t know, though. Just an observation.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toby doesn’t notice Dream’s sick smile as he stares at the ground contemplating his next moves. He turns toward the direction he came and leaves Dream satisfied among the trees. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thought after thought crosses his mind, each one running scenarios of what he could do now, and he settles upon one that would work perfectly for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe almost too perfectly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He finds his way back to the cliffside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toby adjusts his shirt as he ducks back into the opening. Must and dampness meet him with each step further into the cave. Light from the lamp spills over the crates in the cave and Toby feels his breath hitch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His name echoes off the walls, causing his nerves to freeze and stomach to scream in sudden fear. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Who is that? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His name is repeated and he slowly turns to the direction of its origin, internally screaming upon seeing Technoblade. His silhouette is intimidating as he stands with his most prized sword in one hand and helmet in the other. He meekly greets Techno before making all too much of an effort to explain his position. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. I found this cave a while before you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...do you know whose it is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno shrugs and his eyes move to hover over a sign Toby hadn’t seen before. </span>
  <em>
    <span>My L’manburg. Hm that’s bizarre.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Toby turns back to Techno and rises at his utterance to do so. Technoblade disappears and Toby picks the lamp off the floor and quietly grabs small sticks of dynamite before retreating to where he came in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The entire way home stays quiet with Technoblade looking above at the stars. Toby stays lost in the lines of his plan and hears metal clank beside him as Techno unclasps his sword’s sheath. He watches as he walks with it in hand and pockets the clasps. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil and Tommy were bantering as the two entered, almost shocking the two that Techno wasn’t returning alone. Toby blows out his lantern and sets it on the floor before speaking up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I found something…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He explains his discovery and watches as the two process it, paying special attention to Tommy’s reaction. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Maybe ask Tommy about it.’</span>
  </em>
  <span> He mentally shakes Dream from his head and awaits Phil or Tommy’s response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know whose it is?” Toby shakes his head and Phil sighs. “Well then, maybe it’s Dream’s. Most likely knowing that sociopath.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Toby mutters, glancing sideways at Tommy whose stare bore into him. “Probably Dream’s”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. "Never."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>IMPORTANT!! PLEASE READ!!<br/>I've added tw tags to the story so please look at them once more. If you are triggered by the topics please don't continue the story for your own safety as it is a big part of the story from this point froward. Thank you and stay safe &lt;3<br/>IMPORTANT!! PLEASE READ!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I’m telling you, it’s not his!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toby stands outside waiting for Tommy as he puts his shoes on from the porch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What makes you so sure,” Tommy grumbles, not fully into the idea of going back to that cave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I asked him.” Toby keeps his speaking casual as Tommy looks up at him mid-movement. His head shakes in disapproval and he stands to follow Toby to the cave. Their steps and voices are the only sounds heard through the walk; the forest eerily silent. Toby’s heartbeat quickens as he tries to work Dream’s suggestion into the banter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy mindlessly walks directly to where the cave is, not realizing Toby’s slowed steps getting further behind him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know where it is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy stops and turns slowly, jaw tense and stressed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dream told me what you did. With Schlatt and everything.” He almost spits his next sentence, “What the hell is wrong with you? Did you really think I-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Toby, he was going to kill you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mouth stays agape, brows knitted together as he realizes what the other just revealed. Tommy slowly lowers himself to sit on the ground, eyes trained on Toby. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Schlatt was using you! Using you like a fool,” Tommy’s voice lowers as he continues, “and such a fool you are.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me?” Toby’s blood begins to simmer, tired of his best friend’s behavior. “I wouldn’t feel the need to be doing all this if you weren’t such a dickhead! Constantly hushing me, belittling me as if I never do things right... I’m better than you think Thomas,” he snaps. His stance is offensive as Tommy stares at the ground from where he’s seated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then why didn’t you kill me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toby’s muscles tighten as he’s chilled by the question. Words escape him as he struggles to find them. Before he has the chance to form a response, Tommy continues, “You say you’re better than I think, but you can’t even hurt me. You can’t- not even a bruise.” He rubs his hand against his neck, feeling as there were no tender spots in aftermath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy’s gaze rises to meet Toby’s eyes. He rises from where he was sat on the ground and Toby flinches the slightest bit, feeling the atmosphere change as he looks up at the other. Toby hears him chuckle as he rubs his face, being swarmed by a muddle of emotion. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Schl- Why is he laughing? Is he- He’s doing it again… </span>
  </em>
  <span>Anger and fear being the most prominent as Toby’s thoughts begin racing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel so bad for you Toby. It’s so sad to see you end up like this.” Tommy walks towards Toby who backs up at the movement. He senses anger spilling from Tommy, unsure of how he can. He watches, frozen, as Tommy begins lifting his hand. Toby steps back, his face like a deer in headlights.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turns and he runs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He runs feeling the wind slicing into his ribs, causing his lungs to curl in on themselves in defense. He struggles to breathe enough to support his sprint and doesn’t look back. The crunching of leaves is heard double as Tommy pursues him, slowly catching up. Toby feels the angered young man getting closer, panic overthrowing his bones causing them to ache. He’s then caught by the collar, it cutting into his neck as it abruptly stops him. Fear pierces his heart, turning to see Tommy looking at him with calm, glazed eyes. Toby stumbles, trying to back away and ends up beneath the other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m everything you always wanted to be,” he brushes his fingers along Toby’s jaw, gazing through his eyes into his soul, seeing it shake. “Let’s deal with the issue; you wish you were me.” He wraps his hands around Toby’s throat lightly squeezing. Toby’s eyes widen, remembering the night he was found out. Fear pours through his veins, lighting fires in chest. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It hurts to breathe, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thinks. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please. Let me go please.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He tries to move but finds himself with no space to move beneath Tommy. Tommy laughs at him saying something under his breath. ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Pathetic.</span>
  </em>
  <span>’ It slams into Toby’s thoughts, ruining his sanity. He struggles to move as the grip on his throat tightens. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re nothing without me, and you truly thought you could carry this,” he laughs, tightening his grip more as Toby’s face builds more pressure. Panic builds while he struggles to speak and loosen Tommy’s grip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“P-please… Please Tommy,” he half-gasps. Tommy ignores his pleas and keeps a tight grip filled with anger and pride. “I-I’m only seventeen,” he whimpers. “I don’t want to die yet…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah well I’m sixteen and here I am doing what you couldn’t, Toby.” Tommy looks down at his friend as his expression changes to one unrecognizable, still holding his grip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you remember the conversation we had the day you came home with me?” He asks slowly, heat appearing around his eyes. His throat begins to ache, signing unwanted emotions coming through to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Could you see me as your enemy now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He almost laughs out the question as Toby’s consciousness begins slipping from him. He watches as Toby’s eyes lose their bright shine of life and he begins passing out. Yet though all of this, he lifts his hand to brush a tear from Tommy’s eye. He weakly smiles and barely whispers a word before passing out. Through painful sobs, his grip remains tight until he feels Toby’s heartbeat slow, depleting until it no longer quakes. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>IMPORTANT!! PLEASE READ!!<br/>I've added tw tags to the story so please look at them once more. If you are triggered by the topics please don't continue the story for your own safety as it is a big part of the story from this point froward. Thank you and stay safe &lt;3<br/>IMPORTANT!! PLEASE READ!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. What If..?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Tommy’s fingers reach to touch Toby’s neck and feel for a pulse, being met with stillness. Tommy releases a shaky breath as realization settles, and his body begins to shake. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What have I done?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Panic almost sets in when he stands- body acting on its own- and grabs ahold of Toby’s ankles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Questions and subtle hysteria flow through Tommy’s mind as he drags Toby along the forest floor. Tommy looks away from him as he moves, and makes his way up the side of the mountain that overlooked a majority of the forest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time he's at the top, his legs ache more than they had any day after training. It’s not like he was constantly dragging around dead people though. He overlooks the cliff and drops Toby’s ankles as his body was at the edge. Tommy’s lip quivers as he pushes him over the edge, and waits for the sound of impact. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>CRACK</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He cringes at the noise and chokes back a sob, trying his best not to imagine Toby’s body in its new anguish. He struggles to rise and runs back down the mountain, tears once again leaving streaks on his face. He finds himself wandering the forest, and eventually ends up back home; his brother and father stood talking by the door. He quickly wipes the tears and adjusts accordingly, making sure not to raise suspicion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh hey Tommy,” Phil greets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy nods and slightly smiles in response walking in the house without a word. He drags his feet to his room, upholding his front the whole way in case he encounters his other brother, and only lets himself fall again once his back is met with the inside of his door. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t cry now.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He holds in his breath and tears, not wanting to be seen crying for apparently no reason.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few moments of fighting emotion, he crawls to his bed and wraps himself with the covers, hoping he could sleep for eternity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know… but Tommy…….won’t- no”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy wakes to a dark room and muffled voices on the other side of his door. He rises, still groggy from sleep’s hold and opens his door. Phil and Technoblade turn to see him, their faces showing clear distress.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, what’s up guys?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Toby’s- I found him in the forest Tommy,” Technoblade says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did he fall asleep again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...You could say that...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil shoots a stabbing look at Techno as he confesses their finding. Tommy’s glazed eyes widen as the words sink in. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You didn’t know, Tommy.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Tears spill without noise. So many tears, the ones he had held in along with new tears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a sudden series of movements, Tommy grabs his shoes, runs out the door, and doesn’t look back. He runs through the forest struggling to direct himself, until he looks up and spots the cliff. He runs- toppling over, chest heaving, eyes crazed- determined to reach the top. The moment he reaches the top, he feels time itself freeze. His mind numbs and crawls to one thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What if..?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy’s hair fights itself in the strong wind atop the cliff. He inhales deeply, catching his breath. The view down is spine-shaking. It causes his palms to sweat and heart to dance in anticipation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It comes back. The hypothetical that shakes through his core, causing him to almost get killed oh so many times before. It echoes harder than ever before, pushing him closer and closer to the edge. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What if… </span>
  </em>
  <span>It hammers into his back. Not wanting to finish itself and say what it wants. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What if I jump?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His mind and heart race in time, running through scenarios, possibilities, and effects of if he </span>
  <em>
    <span>were</span>
  </em>
  <span> to jump. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The air stills. Tommy hadn’t noticed his father coming from behind, only now a short distance behind. His eyes are still stuck to the ground below as Phil calls out for him multiple times. He asks if he’s alright, concern prevalent in his voice. He wants to run to Tommy, but he knows what could come if he did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy,” Phil cuts him off, voice stern.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if I jumped?” He turns to face his father only a few steps away, tears stilled, yet threatening to spill. “It’s always been us against the world, Phil!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heaves a breath and falls to his knees. His hands curl in on themselves, knuckles whitening at the pressure. “What if I jumped? I wouldn’t- I could… I could jump,” he laughs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes dart, eyeing the area below, for a place to land and ensure-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy, please, look at me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil’s hands land on Tommy’s head, turning it towards him. Their eyes meet, one fueled with the pain of longing. The longing for an end, for his best friend, to be rid of all the pain of the present and future. The other filled with sorrow, and pity aimed at their own son. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy is pulled into a one-sided embrace as he sobs. He sobs, feeling knives in his chest through every quick inhale or exhale. He adjusts himself and grips the cloak of his father wailing, begging. His chest feels as if it’s caved in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want him back. It’s not fair Phil, it’s not fair. I’m too young to be in a war!” His voice and body violently shake as he’s h eld. His mind numbing and everything flowing into his soul, causing pain he’d never imagined. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What if.</span>
  </em>
  <span> It comes back. He inhales deeply and pushes against his father’s chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil falls back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Tommy lunges for the cliff. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“TOMMY!”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What if..?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
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